“Addiction is a reality, but I want to counter that today and say that Jesus is a reality too.” The words were hard to utter. I clutched the podium to give me some extra support as I ushered them from my mouth. I love public speaking. Speaking is my favorite thing. But the first eulogy I ever gave was not simply sharing the life of someone related to me who loved me, and I loved her, but I had the weight of sharing someone whose life was cut short as a direct result of years of addiction.
There are a lot of emotions when someone dies. Death is part of life, but we, in our finite wisdom and understanding, always argue how it’s just “not fair” that someone’s time is over. In the case of my aunt’s death, one of my first emotions was anger.
On the day of her death, I called my father-in-law, explaining the story. In my anger and confusion, I blurted out that she had countless opportunities to change her life around. He then said something that I will never forget, “Well young lady, we have that same opportunity every day.”
Being a follower of Christ is not just about your one-time decision and one-time prayer of asking Jesus into your heart. Being a follower of Christ is a daily decision. Am I going to choose Christ over everything else? I find it ironic that my aunt’s favorite flowers were sunflowers. So at her funeral, pretty much every bouquet was peppered with the yellow and brown, brilliantly big flowers. Flowers need the sun to survive, but sunflowers actually follow the sun. Every night they close up their petals to “sleep” and every morning as the sun rises, they literally move their heads to face the east, and as the sun moves across the sky during the day, so do the heads of sunflowers until they end the day facing the opposite direction… keeping their heads continually towards the sun. Sunflowers cannot survive unless they follow the sun every single day.
And neither can we.
At one point, my aunt made a profession of faith and if you asked her, she would say she was a Christian. But this blog is not about judging her heart. This blog is about my heart and yours. My heart breaks for my aunt who, because of her addiction, missed out on so much of the joy and freedom that can be found in a deep and abiding relationship with Christ. But if I’m not careful, I can miss out on that too.
Friend, this is why we need Jesus. I have a daily decision, and sometimes a moment-by-moment decision of “am I going to follow Christ?” Not just in my words, or prayer emojis in a text to my friend. But do I allow my soul – my heart, mind, strength – and all of my being to be daily filled and refreshed with The Son?
Daily following the Son is hard work. I know. I understand. But one of the countless things I love about the Gospel is the Gospel is for people who mess up. The Gospel is for people who continually realize they cannot be “good enough” on their own. Jesus says, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).
My husband and I recently had an interesting conversation about words the church chooses to use today. One of the most popular ones is the lingo of praying a prayer to ask Jesus to enter into your heart and be your Savior. Although there is truth that through the work of the Holy Spirit, He does live in us (Galatians 5:25), Jesus talks about our relationship with Him in a different way. About twenty times in the New Testament, Jesus uses the terminology “come follow me” (John 8:12, Matthew 4:19, Matthew 10:38, Mark 8:34). Sunflowers don’t think about following the sun every single day. They just do because that’s how they were created.
Friend, each of us was created with a God-sized hole in our hearts that only Jesus can fill. Once we become a Christian, I do believe that we are always saved (Romans 8:31-39). However, anytime there is an ache or longing in our hearts for something, Jesus is truly the only One who can satisfy us and continually fill that God-sized hole.
I closed the eulogy for my Aunt Carole quoting the lyrics from “Who You Say I Am.”
Who am I that the highest King
Would welcome me?
I was lost but He brought me in
Oh His love for me
Who the Son sets free
Oh is free indeed
I’m a child of God
Yes I am
Free at last, He has ransomed me
His grace runs deep
While I was a slave to sin
Jesus died for me
A sunflower does not clean-up their mess before following the sun. I know that may sound silly, but it’s true. In the same way, Jesus doesn’t ask us to clean up our mess, or our busy schedules, before coming to Him. All He asks of us is to follow Him.
There is joy and freedom found in an abiding relationship with Christ. My prayer, sweet friend, is that you and I would daily choose to follow the Son over every other thing in our lives.
(Revised. Originally written for Wholehearted October 2019)
I’m so sorry for the loss of your aunt, Kelly. I pray God will continue to comfort you and your family and bring His peace. Thank you for this important reminder- we truly need to turn to the Son each day. May we draw near to Him in repentance with an open heart. God bless, and thank you for your writing.
Thank you, Amber, for your kindness and encouragement! God bless you!
beautiful thoughts, kelly! I’ve also started reading some of the Thanksgiving devotions, and they are encouraging, too!
Thank you for the encouragement, Dan! I’m glad the Thanksgiving devotion is beneficial to you. Blessings!